forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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