you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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