Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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