i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
