They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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