i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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