for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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