Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
