are you still at the devil's house?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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