so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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