I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
