Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
