How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
