Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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