the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
