I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i think i have herpe
just one?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
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