There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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