He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
