I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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