You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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