Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
