About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Randomize
