This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
