Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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