we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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