I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
