she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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