very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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