I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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