Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
