i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
So many bounce houses so little time
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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