I puked a lego.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize