So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
