Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i may or may not be watching the land before time
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
