id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
