His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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