i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
