i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
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Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
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My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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