Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize