who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
