You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
