everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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