THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
