she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
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