she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
