so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
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