I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
3 2 1 whiskey
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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