Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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