Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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