she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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