i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
