Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
