what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
