I looked at my own cervix.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
