There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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