On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
