id be glad to
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
