It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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