Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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