do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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