the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
