garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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