his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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