i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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