i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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