And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
